I'm Done and I'm Moving On.

To Michael

It's been a whole year since you pulled your stunt.
I can't honestly say I'm still not pissed at you for what you did; because I am.
You took the last little shread of trust and respect I had for you, and burnt it to the ground.
That day, I beat myself up over and over again, screaming at myself,
"Why? Why did I believe you?"
That question, that single question, I have asked myself and pondered over for a whole year.
But now, now I know the answer:
Now I know why I believed you when you lied.
You promised me that very morning before school just after we stepped out the door that you wouldn't do anything stupid and that you wouldn't ruin my Christmas.
You lied.
But now I know why I believed you.
You'd lost my parents trust and respect long ago, even my eight year-old sister didn't trust or respect you.
But I still did, because I still believed that you could change; and that you would change.
We all make mistakes.
I still wonder late at night why you did it.
Was it for the thrill?
Or was it out of spite?
Did you do it knowing you would break my heart?
Of course you did; but that's not the point.
The point is that you lied, and I believed.
But now I know why.
I have forgiven you, yes; but that doesn't excuse you of your crimes against my heart.
I want us to move on, yes; I want us to be friends again and laugh together.
But does that mean I'm going to make myself naive and trust you again?
No.
You lied to me; you lied straight to my face and broke your promise.
But now I know why I believed you.
Since that day, you've gone around and hurt more people other than myself.
For a while, I wanted to see you get hurt.
I wanted you to get caught and I wanted you to suffer.
I was fired up with rage anytime I thought of you.
But now, I'm too tired to care.
You lied to me, yes, and I believed you.
But now I know why.
You gave me a scar I knew would never heal.
But I've learned to cherish and be proud of that scar you gave me.
I want everyone to know how you hurt me, and I want you to know that I'm glad you hurt me.
If you hadn't, I wouldn't, I couldn't be sharing this wisdom I share now.
So here's my Christmas present to you, Michael.
Here's what I'm giving to you, from the depths of my heart.
I want you to have have the knowlegde that I've ridden myself of everything you ever gave me.
All the stress, pain, sorrow, anger, grief; every headache, sleepless night, and tear you brought upon me.
I want with all my heart for you to have the knowledge that I've given it all up.
I'm moving on, and I'm letting go of the past.
You lied, so what?
I believed, so what?
I now know why I believed.
Yours Truly,

-Katlynne