Once Again

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Once Again

Post  Dancin' Kate on Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:15 am

-.- Once again I have fallen for a guy and I find myself at a loss… however, before I go anywhere with this let me just say that the last guy I had a crush on, Jimmy? Yeah, probably one of the worst decisions of my life. He was a nice guy last year, don't get me wrong, but this year he's an asshole I don't want to associate with nor be associated with. Quite frankly, last year he used me to get by in his classes and the only reason I let him was because I had a little girly crush on him. Now that I have cleared that up, we get to the good stuff. x3

Okay, maybe not quite because I have to say this. xD Fair warning, I'll probably start rambling. ;) Believe me when I say that I've had plenty of crushes and infatuations with guys before in my life but this time… I don't know how to explain it without sound completely and utterly cliche. I have never had the kind of reaction I have towards Bryce (the guy I like) with anyone before. When I see him, I can honestly say that I feel my heart skip a beat. Just this morning on the bus I was thinking about him and my heart started to race… When I'm around him, my knees get weak and my heart starts to flutter and dance behind my chest; I can barely think and once caught myself not breathing for a moment! I've had multiple dreams with him in them where we were dating or just really good friends. I don't want to say I'm in love with him but… I'm not sure how else to describe how I feel about him any other way. Again, I can honestly say that everything about him is attractive to me: from his amazingly tall stature to his slightly cocky attitude. I've come to admire everything about him, even his 'flaws' (he's really skinny and when I first met him I thought it was kind of a turnoff but not anymore, obviously).

Like I said before, he's really tall but then again I'm short so go figure :P He's got the most gorgeous lips I've ever seen before though- no shit, take Wesley Snipes' lips and slap 'em onto that boy's mouth. Rosy pink and plump and when he smiles, especially when he blushes, I just want to smash my face into his... Well, with a little more romance involved. XD And I've sometimes seen this look on his face, like he's really concentrated on something, and I'll be completely honest and say it's probably the sexiest thing I've laid eyes upon o.O It doesn't help that he's got these beautiful pale-blue eyes that I could just stare into for hours and not get bored. And his voice... My lord, he's got a voice pitched just right to turn my insides to jelly and make me melt on the spot. His voice is incredibly deep and kind of rough, but it's also soft and rich and a HUGE turn-on for me. Seriously, just the sound of his voice is seductive to me (and I'm sure he doesn't intend for that but hey, I'm crazy about the boy).

And of course, there's always that last bit that all girls are mostly concerned about... His personality. Well, he's kind of an ass when I don't sugar-coat it. :P But he's also proved to be one of the most considerate and thoughtful guys I've ever met. I wouldn't go as far as to say that he's sweet (though he has the potential), but he's definitely nice and friendly when you get past his sarcastic and cocky first-impression. He's got a sense of humor and can take a joke, even if its about him. But he also is a bit of a teaser, which is where his ass-ness comes into play. The best example I can provide is when we would shoot baskets in PE and when I had the ball he would a.) try to knock it away from me b.) try to make me miss by blocking or bumping into/grabbing me c.) call me out on my complete and utter suckage at basketball xP

Well, now that I'm done (for the most part) with my rambling... The part where I need help. Like I said before, I like him so much I'm starting to think in might be a precursor to love. About three weeks ago I told him how I felt about him by growing a pair of woman balls and multiple pep-talks. I basically told him that I really liked him and had for a while now. For the longest time up until then, I really thought he liked me, too (maybe not as much as I did but some). A couple of months ago I finally figured out why he had always looked so familiar and it was because he was the guy who flirted with me on the first day of school. Yeah! I remember I was waiting outside the bathroom for my friend (my school is an all outdoor campus) and he walked by with a friend and started to flirt and even show off a bit. We had the same sixth period PE then and I would always catch him looking at me and whenever I came over to shoot some baskets with him and his two other friends he would try to make some trick shots. Later on, I started to notice him turn up on the way to my classes throughout the day and he would watch me walk by. During lunch I would eat at a certain table and soon enough he was sitting at a table across from mine where I was in his line of sight. Sometimes it appeared like he would go out of his way to make sure I was still there. XD Eventually my friend Shaira got me addicted to walking around the lunch area with her and whenever we passed his table he would look up and watch for a moment. And back to PE, he would always play around with me and tease me. At one point when I caught the ball after a bounce-missed shot, he got all up on me from behind to get the ball and it would've been molestation had it not been basketball. He seemed kinda freaked about it for a while, but he soon started doing it a lot, at least once a week.

So, yeah, I was pretty convinced he liked me or something and I always though he never said anything about it because he was afraid I wouldn't like him back. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who's had a ton of girlfriends so... But when I finally told him, instead of an appropriate response like "Well, I like you, too" or "No, bitch, gtfo" or "OMG!WESHOULDTOTALLYGOOUT" (okay maybe the last one was too much xD) I got "Alright, that's cool. Text me, okay?" -.- I let it slide because I had just done what I had never done before in my life (and, mind you, we Never discussed it via text that day either). But it's been three weeks and he's still said nothing and since the new semester started and some schedules changed, we don't have PE (our only class together) together anymore. I'm not a big texter and I feel annoying, awkward, and unwanted when I have to text first so don't try and be like, "Oh, just text him more," because he doesn't really text either.

My birthday party is this Saturday and I invited him but I haven't gotten a response yet. It's been three weeks since I told him how I felt about him and I haven't gotten an appropriate response yet. And, since the new semester started, he's gone all stranger-danger on me. Seriously? We go from being, I thought, pretty good friends for close to five months to "Fuck you, bitch, I don't know you,"? Um, how about no? I have all of these legit reasons to talk to him but I just get so... I dunno', weak I guess when I'm around him.

So that's my big problem in my life now. I know, pathetic compared to some, but a girls love-life is a very complicated thing! And I normally try to resolve this kind of dilemma by myself, but Bryce is no ordinary crush... And so I come to my friends to ask for advice and help on what to do, what to say, how to act, and anything else related to this.

I appreciate you guys putting up with my petty bullshit. :)
-Katlynne

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Dancin' Kate
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Re: Once Again

Post  Dancin' Kate on Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:36 am

Well, never mind about all that; apparently it was all in my head. Just a sought-after fantasy I wanted so badly to be true. I talked to him today and he doesn't like me back. I wasn't too upset when he told me, mainly because I was finally able to let out that breath I had been holding since I told him how I felt about him and have some peace of mind. But now that I'm at home, the aftermath is starting to set in. The slow, painful process of getting over him has begun.

I'm trying to think about it like this: if I wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, I can only imagine what it'll be like to meet the one who's perfect for me. :) If you guys have any advice or quotes about moving on and getting over someone, I'd be grateful if you would share it with me. <3

Much love,
Katlynne

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~ Lou ~
October 26, 2001 - September 17, 2012

Don't cry because it's over,
Smile because it happened.
:)
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Re: Once Again

Post  ScarletTheKitty on Mon Feb 11, 2013 8:46 pm

Oh Kate <3 I'm sorry, that's painful, it really is. That I won't deny. However, you're definitly in the right state of mind- He wasn't right for you. Move forward and don't look back. Hey, if he doesn't like you , it's him that's missing out, not you, even though it might not feel that way. You'll get over him soon enough. Think of him as, eh, just another bump in the road ;) Love ya<3

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