FallenAngel (Part two of the scene. Ideas/improvement suggestions PLEASE)

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FallenAngel (Part two of the scene. Ideas/improvement suggestions PLEASE)

Post  xXFallenXx on Sun May 20, 2012 10:43 pm

Continuence

Jynx stared at her father with a blank, numb gaze, as if she really didn't believe what he just said. You have to Father... Ithuriel's voice still rang in the clearing. Chris just sat there, unable to do anything. For the first time in his LIFE he felt completely helpless. Even though he was in a memory. Ithuriel spoke again. "You and your siblings, Jessie, Jace and Joss, disobeyed Heaven's rules. Heaven forbids you to leave without being assigned to a human, or without another special assignment. All four of you disobeyed and indulged in some of the Seven Deadly sins. 'The Law is Hard but the Law is Law'." He paused, staring back into blue eyes so much like his own. "And you have all come to the same punishment. You and your brothers and sister are to be damned on Earth for all eternity."

At that, Jynx shot to her feet, but stumbled and fell to the ground, sobbing uncontrolably. Without so much as a glance between the two, the guards moved forward and grabbed Jynx's arms. She was crying to hard to fight back, but even if she had, it would have been a lossing battle. A large wooden pole grew from the ground in the middle of the clearing. It was covered in slash marks and dried blood. A torture pole. The two angels shoved Jynx's back against the pole and tied her hands and feet to it. "Pease! Father no!"

She looked at the others for help. "Vrael... Malachi! I made a mistake! We all do..." Vrael gave her a cold look and turned away. Malachi slowly slipped a gag around Jynx's head, rendering her unable to speak. Her eyes pleaded with him. He bowed his head as if in pain. He looked up as single tear flowed down his face. With one last glance, he mouthed I'm sorry.. I love you.. and he turned away from his once betrothed, joining Vrael and Ithuriel. With a wave of Ithuriel's hand, the ground around Jynx burst into dark blue-black flames. They lapped at her bare feet and she struggled violently at her bonds. The flames grew taller, and taller.. Soon they were at Jynx's shoulders. She finally worked the gag free from her mouth, just as the flames engulfed her, and she let out a blood curdling scream. It was full of agony, and grief.

The sound of it made Chris go weak, and sink to his knees, tears escaping his eyes. A few more wimpers were heard, then nothing. Just the muted crackling of the flames as they receded. They soon died down, leaving a girth 10 feet in every direction around the pole scortched. Right in the middle, on her knees, face in her hands, was the Jynx that Chris knew so well. Black hair, glossy black wings, pale skin and before she even looked up, he knew her eyes were dark forest green. She was still crying, her sobs echoing. Malachi was gone. Vrael and Ithuriel remained. Both had blank expressions.

Jynx stood on shakey legs and gave her father and Vrael a look. It wasn't just any look. Tears still streamed down her face, but they were no longer tears of sorrow. They were of hate, her eyes burning with a dark emerald fire. "Damn you both. May God strike you where you stand." She spat, as her pale hands clentched into fists. Ithuriel's mouth twitched and something sparked in his blue eyes. Regret? But it was gone as soon as it had appeared. He waved his hand again, and the couds opened up beneath Jynx, and she fell to Earth.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The memory faded, and Chris drew his hands away from Jynx's back. Immediately, her hands were on his chest, shoving her away from him with a force he didn't know she was capable of. In a split second, she was off the couch on the other side of the room, facing the corner. She was shaking. Obviously, she had seen the memory along with him.... Well shit.

Chris slowly got up. "Jynx...." She immediately spun around. "How COULD you??!?!?!?!?!?!" She swung her fist and tried to punch him square in the jaw. He was just barely quick enough, and her fist connected with the palm of his hand. He captured that hand, and quickly grabbed her other hand so she couldnt try to punch him again. She struggled, then stopped, burying her face in his shoulder, crying. Chris bit his lip and gently made her sit down, then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I'm sorry Jynx. I didn't know.... But I had to find out. I'm so sorry..." That just made her shake harder.

He kissed the top of her head. "Listen to me... I love you okay? With all of my heart." She was silent for a minute. Then her crying receded, but her body still hiccuped with supressed sobs. "I know... I love you too." She said, her voice thick from having been crying so hard. She pulled her face away from his shoulder. Her eyeliner was smearing, making a thin black line down each of her cheeks, and her eyes were red, but to Chris... She was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!!! Please leave comment below. Don't be afraid to be critical. :)
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Re: FallenAngel (Part two of the scene. Ideas/improvement suggestions PLEASE)

Post  You are who? on Tue May 22, 2012 1:10 pm

It looks good, and interesting is this only part of the story or the begining?
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Re: FallenAngel (Part two of the scene. Ideas/improvement suggestions PLEASE)

Post  xXFallenXx on Tue May 22, 2012 6:14 pm

Its just part of it... I haven't really written much else. Its one of those day dream things that's WAY into the story....
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Re: FallenAngel (Part two of the scene. Ideas/improvement suggestions PLEASE)

Post  You are who? on Fri May 25, 2012 1:29 pm

ah, I understand, it look good!
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Re: FallenAngel (Part two of the scene. Ideas/improvement suggestions PLEASE)

Post  ScarletTheKitty on Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:33 am

its amazing! UGH, i cant bellieve i have to wait for more!?!? >Sad

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Re: FallenAngel (Part two of the scene. Ideas/improvement suggestions PLEASE)

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