No Longer Dead

Little zombie book I am working on. Just have the prologue so far...decided to share it.

PROLOGUE

Hell.

That's what this is.
Things are no longer...normal. People no longer just...die.
I sit there. In the back of a Doritos semi truck. Scared shitless and using my cellphone as a light.
Around the truck I hear...moans. Groans. Even a hiss now and then. I hear banging on the outside of the truck, I hear claws raking against the steel as those things try to get in. I look over at at Kaylee, who looks like she might cry. While Brutus sits next to me, staring blankly at the roof.

I bet you're wondering how I got into this situation, right? Well...that's a long story. I'll make it brief.

It seemed like a normal day. I woke up on my regular bed in my room, waved to my parents, grabbed a banana and then walked the half a mile to school.

See? Normal. The school day was dull. Just the usual classes, the usual lunch time, usual kids and usual teachers. I used to think my life was repetitive, and I wanted more.
I was wrong. I'd go back to that old life in a heart beat.

Anyway, school finished quickly. Even though it was only forty minutes ago, I barely remember it. It seems like a distant memory...Mostly me sitting in the back of classes while teachers drawled on about evolution and multiplication.

But what happened after school...I remember that clearly. Don't think I will ever forget.
I walked home with my friend Brutus, since he lived next door. We both knew something must be up. The streets were empty. Rex, that pit bull that always barked at us, wasn't around. There were no cars driving around. Even the birds were quiet. We were strolling on the sidewalk only a block away from the school when we heard the scream.
It wasn't the gleeful scream of a child, like we were used to hearing. It was a shrill, bloodcurdling scream, filled with absolute terror.
It unnerved us. Sent chills down our spines, all the way to our toes. We shot each other a look and then ran towards the scream to see what was the matter. A foolish act, I know. But not much crime happens in this neighborhood, and I guess we were slightly curious.

We were not prepared for what we saw next.

The woman who screamed was laying on the ground. Her eyes were wide and horrified. She looked at us as if she was pleading for help, but all that came out of her was a pathetic murmur. She had this huge chunk missing from her throat, leaving a bloody mess. But on top of the woman...was a zombie.

Let's pause here for a second. You might ask, "Hey, how did you know right away that it was a zombie?" ...I just know these things. And it might be the wide collection of videogames and movies I have seen. And..that thing was definitely a zombie.

It turned and looked at us. Its flesh was rotted and peeling. It's teeth were covered in the womans blood, the dark fluid dripping down its chin. It stood up wobbily and then...lunged at us.

"Shane!" yelled Brutus, his usually tough voice actually seeming scared. He helped push me out of the way, which ended up with both of us tumbling to the ground.

..I'd like to say that we held our ground and fought the zombie, and that we bashed its head in. But we didn't. We turned and ran the hell out of there, not sure where we were going at this point, as long as it was away from the undead.
When we finally stopped running, we both were crouched with our hands on our knees, our breathing ragged.
Brutus was the first to talk. "What the hell was that?!"

I stood up, rubbing some sweat off of my forehead. " ...You know what it was, man. A zombie. A freaking real life zombie."
He looked around wildly. "We have to get to our parents. See if they're okay."
I nodded, also looking around. Though I wasn't sure if my parents would really be okay. All around us, there were screams. We'd hear a few car crashes in the distance. It was one of the times when I really hated how well sound carried in this town.

...but how did it happen? Why so suddenly? What exactly went down when I was sitting at school?I figured that if something like this were to happen, we would at least get a warning. But no. The zombies have come. And they are building an army, right in this little town. We watched as our world fell apart. Sirens were wailing as police flew through the streets, but it wasn't enough.
They couldn't stop it from spreading.

...and that is the story so far. The story of me, Shane Cooper.
Sure, other stuff happened. Brutus and I walked around for a while and ran into Kaylee, a girl from school. She ended up joining our little team. So we all picked up some weapons, like crowbars and pipes, then ran off to find our family.

And see how well that plan ended? Here we are about forty minutes later, exhausted from running and hiding in a semi full of chips. We haven't found our parents yet. And frankly, we're all too scared to try, considering the truck we are in is surrounded by a horde of the undead.

But there you go. The beginning. It will only get worse.

Caught my attention instantly. I think with a few fixing of some punctual errors, this would be perfect. I can't wait to see what happens to the characters.

Just a bit of advice, maybe a bit more description? I got a blurry image of the woman who had the zombie on top of her, and your readers want a clear image. Say what she looked like, the way her eyes were filled with misery, and the zombies light green tone or something.

Anyways, keep on writing, I definitely will be checking it out! (:

Yeah, good points.
This is mostly a first draft. Needs editing. The first chapter will sort of explain what the characters look like, but haven't really gotten to it yet.
Thanks for reading.